A Christian Homeschooled Speech and Debate Kid's Bucket List

There are certain laws in speech and debate that must never be broken (besides Mrs. Harding's debate law). There is certain etiquette, certain things you have to do. I'm not talking about crossing your ankles or sitting on the correct side of the room based on your side of the resolution.  These are unspoken rules. They're not hard and fast, and some aren't even rules, more suggestions on how to be more professional. But every speech and debate kid has a dream, a desire, to break these unspoken rules.

Basically, what I'm saying is that sometimes we want to do really weird things in our rounds. I have made a list of these things, though I admit it is incomplete. With contributions from viewers like you.

-Write a stupid case and run it in finals.

-Take a nap after giving the 1NR.

-Give a speech with a British accent (or any accent that isn't American).

-Give a speech in song.

-Shake the judges hand without letting go.

-Use Disney quotes as voting issues.

-Ask for someone's number in a point of information.

-End your apologetics speech with an alter call.

-Run out of the room in the middle of the round.

-Look at your opponent during CX.

-Hug your opponent during CX.

-Speak without any notes or a podium.

-Burst into song during your impromptu speech.

-Use cheesy debate pick-up lines in a round.

-Say that you're timeline is 'wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff.'

-Stand on the chair during storytelling.

-Give a tournament with a really weird name.

-Use a Ron Swanson quote in an extemp speech appropriately.

-Qualify for NITOC in DI and then turn your DI into an HI.

-Hug the judge.

-Make offensive jokes.

-Take stalking postings to the next level. (Interpret that as you please.)

-Win a round on your awesome penguin analogy.

-Write a fictional book about speech and debate (is this just me?).

-Wear rainbow slippers in a round and see if anyone notices.

-Ask the judge to vote on the team you're actually on.

- Say that you're funding comes from the proceeds of this tournament and the generous donations of viewers like you.

-Interpret the resolution as something totally wacky. (i.e. Marine = a division of the US armed forces.)

-Vote affirmative.

Okay, that last one isn't totally crazy. But you should do it anyway.

I Have Been Changed For Good

This past weekend was the Westlake Escalade (or, as I prefer, the Wescalade). It was, for many, the last tournament of the year. It was the sixth tournament I've been to this year and my thirteenth tournament total, and out of all those tournament, this was one of my favorites. It was well run, the facility was good, and the competition was great. But those aren't the reasons why it was one of my favorite tournament of all time. The real reason is because of my friends.

I made a conscious decision before the tournament not to focus on the competition portion of the tournament, but rather to focus on friendships. Before the 2012-2013 tournament season, I had about two friends total. But I made a promise to make friends. That promise has paid off.

I pretty much have the best friends ever. They're encouraging, inspiring, funny, loving, caring, kind, and basically the best. I'm so proud of all of them. They aren't perfect, and neither am I. I don't expect them to be perfect. But I still love them all. I wouldn't be who I am without my friends. They have taught me lessons I may never have learned without them, and they have impacted my life in ways even I can't know.

Even when I'm teasing my friends about who they like, or their lack of vest, or their bony hugs, or anything at all, I still love them. I'm absolutely thrilled when my friends break to finals. I'm absolutely thrilled when my friends tell me that their round went well and then tell me why. I love it when they know I care, and I love it when I know they care. Friends like that are hard to find, and I'm glad that I have been so blessed by such amazing people.

I honestly don't know where I'd be without you guys. I love you all so much. You have blessed me so much and I can only pray that I have blessed you as well. "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken." (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

Now then. I'm off to see Wicked. Vote affirmative, because I already voted affirmative for you.

You Know You're A Christian Homeschooled Speech and Debate Kid When...

(For the record, this is a direct rip off of Blimeycow's You might be a homeschooler... I'll try to make up in the creativity department for the lack of originality.)

You know you're a CHSADK when you have specific pens for all the stock issues.

You know you're a CHSADK when you spend hours trying to decypher judge handwriting.

You know you're a CHSADK when you start wearing suits for fun.

You know you're a CHSADK when the word 'parametrics' is more than random letters put together.

You know you're a CHSADK when you start impact calculating what food you should order at McDonald's.

You know you're a CHSADK when you have a mini panic attack because a speech and debate legend just started talking to you.

You know you're a CHSADK when the Heritage Foundation is in your top ten most visited sites.

You know you're a CHSADK when 'breaking' is a good thing.

You know you're a CHSADK when you have to explain the difference between 'expos' and 'extemp' to your non-CHSADK friend... for the twelfth time.

You know you're a CHSADK when you accidentally walk in on a meeting of the LD Secret Society.

You know you're a CHSADK when you witness the deepest theological debate you've heard outside of apologetics finals.

You know you're a CHSADK when you end up stalking your ex-debate partner's current debate partner's brother's ex-debate partner after ten minutes on speech ranks.

You know you're a CHSADK when you get trampled in the race for postings for the third time this tournament.

You know you're a CHSADK when you quote your debate partner in the 2NR.

You know you're a CHSADK when you crowd into duo finals and end up sitting under the judge's table.

You know you're a CHSADK when you lash out at someone for calling impromptu 'improv.'

You know you're a CHSADK when you've spent hours watching speeches on Youtube.

You know you're a CHSADK when you say words like permutation and tabula rosa just to confuse your non-CHSADK friends.

You know you're a CHSADK when you come close to burning your ballots because the judge voted on your dinosaur socks and not the flow.

You know you're a CHSADK when you stopped reading the first part a long time ago.

You know you're a CHSADK when you start writing your platform five months before the first tournament.

You know you're a CHSADK when you give more speeches to walls and stuffed animals than you do to people.

You know you're a CHSADK when you've started quoting your duo.

You know you're a CHSADK when you know the best ways to avoid the timer lady.

You know you're a CHSADK when you come up with nicknames for tournaments.

You know you're a CHSADK when people start glaring at you because of your amazing penguin analogy.

You know you're a CHSADK when you can effortlessly speak in public.

You know you're a CHSADK when you accidently end a prayer with 'thank you for judging.'

You know you're a CHSADK when you end every blog post with 'vote affirmative.'

You know you're a CHSADK when you do vote affirmative.

Go Light Your World - Just Try Not to Set Anything On Fire: A Tournament Recap

(Warning: This post is dangerously long. Proceed with caution.)
(Warning- The Sequel: This is totally out of order, because the order of events is really foggy in my memory, and it would take about a week to get the order right and by that time I would already be having panic attacks because of the Wescalade next week.)

I wasn't exactly ready for GLYW (pronounced GLU-wa). I've been giving my speeches all year and I wasn't even doing duo because *coughcoughkalebcoughcough*, but it wasn't speech I wasn't prepared for. Mostly it was parli. Yep. I did parli for the first time (in forever). I did it with my awesome TP partner. I had my first parli round ever the Sunday before the tournament with a makeshift partner, and my second ever the night before with my actual partner. We were doing parli, an event that is already difficult to prepare for, for the first time with next to no prep before hand. And it. was. AWESOME.

Even though we only went 1-5, we had a blast. We had nothing to lose, so we went in there and got an adrenaline rush and a fatter ballot packet. I deciphered my writing, which had been scribbled down as fast as possible in the shortest fifteen minutes of our lives. Why is it that waiting for a ten minute speech to be done for your turn in a round feels like thirty minutes and the fifteen minutes we have for parli seems shorter than impromptu prep? Mysteries that will never be solved.

Because my wonderful duo partner didn't come, and because they didn't have impromptu (L), I only had two speech events. I switched my persuasive to an OO after the Oklahoma tournament, figuring I had nothing to lose since I had yet to get any checks in anything but duo and impromptu, and impromptu doesn't even count. But anyway. Both of my speeches were in one pattern which means I had a free pattern. And during this pattern I was outside singing, "I could go running, and racing, and dancing, and chasing, and leaping, and bounding, hair flying, heart pounding, and splashing and reeling and finally feeling now's when my time is free!"

I managed to drag a bunch of people in to watch my OO first round and they all squeezed into the tiny room that my round was in. They all loved it and they all said I was great and it really encouraged me to hear that people liked it, even the judges didn't. And I finally got the kid who inspired my speech to watch it the second round.

My DI (yes, I'm doing a DI. #thingsyoudidntknowbouthadley) was 10:05 first round, and I'm not sure how that happened since it used to be eight minutes and I didn't add anything to it. I had some friends who were really nice and encouraging after seeing it and they were (and are) amazing. I ended up one spot away from getting a greencheck mark.

On the first day, I was second to last in my OO room, and I stayed and watched my friend's OO (Which, by the way, is more than a little amazing.) So I was walking to go to lunch, but everyone was already going to worship, so I figured they were having lunch after worship. So I went to worship and then they announced that postings for the second TP round were up. I realized that they had served lunch before worship. And now I have to go to a debate round. And now I'm mad, because I wanted Chick-Fi-La. And I didn't get Chick-Fi-La. And after managing to calm myself to down to a point of being able to debate without having a panic attack, I debated and eventually ended up with food in my mouth. Needless to say (that phrase makes no sense), I made sure to get to lunch on time from then on.

Me and my awesome tournament buddies (you know who you are) hung out behind the tournament facility (I swear we weren't like doing drugs or anything). This is probably my favorite tournament facility, for a couple of reasons. 1. The rooms are near perfect. They're all pretty decent sizes, with a good number of rooms. It's only one story, and the three sections are all easy to figure out. 2. The other (better) reason this facility is so great is the woods out back. A very short way from the church there's a fairly secluded area with a swinging bench (that totally isn't broken) and a round table where we held our knight meetings.

I made friends, hung-out with friends, counted down to the weather with friends, and actually debated against my best friend.

When my Really Buddy told me we were hitting each other in parli, I honestly thought she was joking. When I realized she was serious, I kind of freaked out and hoped I wouldn't get up and say, "my really buddy, in her last speech said something about something." That would have been awkward. And we had a huge group come in and watch, and we never had a group come to specifically watch us in parli the whole rest of the tournament. But that's not all.

Two seconds after I left the room, my Really Buddy came and was like, 'we're hitting you again!' I did not believe her. But she isn't one to say things like that. So after a moment I realized she was telling the truth and I freaked out. And it was a lot of fun, and really fun, and we passed notes like every two seconds. ("Would you agree that five billion plus three billion equals ten billion"?)

At one point during the tournament, I was walking through the woods with my friends, and I wearing a skirt and we happened to walk by some thorns, and my ankle happened to come in contact with some of those thorns. And we kept walking even though I was bleeding. It wasn't that bad, but eventually I was like, "Okay, I should probably go wash this and put a band-aid on it, seeing as I have a debate round soon.'

I was really nervous during the awards ceremony, because I didn't break to finals in OO (they just had a third round for DI), so I didn't know if I would get a check mark. I had been really frustrated earlier because I've been giving my speech all year and, even with improvements, it still hadn't improved. I was always three or fewer spots away from a check. I changed it from a persuasive to an OO because I felt I would do better there, and when I didn't I was kind of mad.

So I sat nervously in my seat when they announced that there would be twelve checks in OO. I still had four chances for a check. I bit my lip as they called twelve place up to get one of the sparkly check marks they always give at GLYW. When they called my name for eleventh place, I freaked out. I practically ran on stage and I swear the people (mostly my awesome tournament buddies cheered louder than they did for first place. If you were just to see my expression, and the way people reacted, you would've thought I had gotten first.

We had a small, pathetically short ballot party in the lobby of our hotel that ended really early because of some baseball kids, and then I hung out with my debate partner in her hotel room until 12:00AM talking about how much fun we had, and about how crazy judges are.

A lot more things than the few mentioned in the post happened. From the 15 Game to Batman, this tournament was pretty crazy. I got to see almost all of my speech and debate friends. I learned that sometimes the people who need to hear your speech aren't the judges. Maybe it's the timer, or an audience who came in to watch someone else's speech, or the person you had to drag in to watch your speech. Because it's not about winning the trophies, the medals, or the green check marks. It's about lighting your world. Which was kind of the entire point of the tournament.

Go light your world, and vote affirmative, because that would light up my day. :) But try not to set your yard on fire. (And wow this is super out of order. I warned you.)