Competitor Stereotypes 1 : The Fourth Year Confessions

With 12 events plus a wildcard or two, Stoa has a lot of options for all us little teenagers to compete in. From HI to LD to Extemp, there's a wide variety of events. And therefore, there is a wide variety of people who do these events. Here's what we think of them:

Limited Prep

Apologetics

Those who dare put their foot in the door an apologetics round are truly brave. They risk their theology being ripped to shreds because of a 6 minute speech that they may or may not have prepared a card for. They have literal buckets full of Bible verses and C.S. Lewis quotes. Apologetics competitors can frequently be found having theological discussions outside of their competition rooms and probably somewhere reading their Bibles.

"What's your opinion on predestination?"

Extemp

Once the confusion between extemp and expos has been cleared up (this usually takes the entire first year), it is easy to determine who is an extemper. They are usually panicked about making it to their draw time, while also having several other events in the same pattern (dear tournament schedulers, please do not put extemp and duo in the same pattern. This has proved disastrous on many occasions).  DO NOT approach an extemper on his or her way to the prep room or their competition room. Approach them after the round to discuss what topic they pulled and learn how they couldn't find a single article on their topic so they just made everything up.

"Can I go before you? I have to do duo with my partner RIGHT NOW so I can make to my draw on time."

Impromptu

Probably a novice, or an advanced competitor who really wants impromptu to be a NITOC event. You'll see many impromptu-ers pacing outside of his or her competition room, going over examples and points and stories and trying to remember what relevance the sticking out of the thumb has to the structure of a speech. While we all wish impromptu were, yet again, a regular event, the leaders of Stoa have not yet announced any plans on restoring our great event to its former glory.

"What does 'NITOC Break-Out Event' mean anyway?"

Mars Hill

Found reading books, listening to *gasp* secular music, and discussing the latest Hunger Games movie. These students are excellent at "Jesus Juking" conversations, but often choose to refrain from doing so because that's awkward. They carry binders full of song lyrics, movie plots, and book blurbs. If they aren't carrying these binders, they are running around the building looking for these binders so they don't crash and burn in their round because they didn't know the lyrics to "I Can't Get No Satisfaction."

"Katniss offering her life for Prim's is like what Jesus did for us."

Platform

Original Oratory

These competitors are unpredictable. One minute, they'll be deeply emotional and moving, the next they'll be reciting endless facts and statistics, the next they'll be cracking jokes about some obscure topic. They're constantly thinking of new topics, and are prone to Mid-Season Change Syndrome, a condition which causes students to write and rewrite various speeches of different topics, which leads to the student cramming ten minutes of words into their heads on the journey to the tournament.

"I memorized my speech my this morning...I've totally got this.."

Persuasive

If you want to hold firmly to your opinion on a controversial subject, stay away from those who compete in persuasive. They will stop at nothing to sway you to their position. They use emotional stories, shocking statistics, quotes from a multitude of highly accredited persons. Do not argue with these people. You will lose. They know more than you. They are deeply passionate about whatever subject they have chosen. When forced to abandon their speech at the end of NITOC, they are often lost because their passion has been temporarily drained. But once the summer is over, they are back at it, being smarter and more well read than you could hope to be...in that one specific subject.

"I can't believe you didn't finish that water bottle. There are kids in Africa who would give everything the have for one drink of that."

Expository

Expository competitors are most often found with tape and/or glue in hand, desperately trying to repair their boards before the start of the next round. They lurk in the deep reaches of the expository storage room, a place non-expository competitors fear to tread. DO NOT touch the boards. DO NOT touch the props. DO NOT touch the easels. You will NOT survive the encounter.

"Gotta go. My boards are falling apart. Again."


Since my timer is about to go off, you'll have to wait until my partner's next speech to see the rest of the event hasty generalizations. For now, I encourage you to vote affirmative, and stay away from extempers on their way to rounds. It's for your own safety.

Next time on Competitor Stereotypes: Interpers and Debaters