Competitor Stereotypes 2 - The Fourth Year Confessions

While there are no limits on who can do what event (we all know that amazing LDer who also always wins at interps), there are stills certain qualities which belong to those who compete in certain events. These are those qualities. (Continued from here.)

Interps

HI

Only the truly, deeply hilarious can have a shot at this event. Their comedic timing is more on point than that one tournament director's. Usually a younger competitor, HIs are typically loud and energetic. But every now and then, the quiet, seemingly serious competitor who usually wins TP will start competing in this event. And winning. All the time. And everyone will be like, 'wow how did you make your voice sound like that and why are you suddenly the most hilarious person I know?'

"I can't believe I missed TP finals breaks because I was still in HI finals!"

DI

While the dramatic interpretation competitors seem like they would be, well, dramatic. You will not find them crying in the corner (unless they're giving their speech to a wall). You will not usually find them telling stories about holocaust survivors (again, unless they're giving their speech). They do not randomly burst into tears while quoting Steel Magnolias. More likely, DIs will be the ones you meet in the hallways, laughing and being friendly. When you ask them what events they're competing in, you'll expect them to say duo or HI. But no. If you go watch their speech, you will cry. Do not try to stop it. You'll only make it worse.

"Anyway, I have to go make all my judges and audience members weep openly with my heart wrenching speech that will make you question your entire life."

Duo

You watch these competitors to laugh, and sometimes walk out of the room crying. Those who compete in duo will always be found with their partner (unless their partner is in extemp prep, being late for their Duo round). They constantly play off each other's witty statements. They're likely to be TP partners as well. And they're definitely matching down to their socks. If not, you probably won't see them in finals.

"I can't believe you put on the wrong tie! We'll never get that checkmark now!"

OI

OIs are enigmas. You never know what they're going do next. They could make you throw your head back laughing, or make you break down in tears. They are more creative than you, and probably funnier. And they can also make you cry. Being so unpredictable, it is best to stay away from such competitors and watch from a distance until their behavior begins to make sense. If one chooses to risk being around these competitors, even more unpredictable than OOs, one must always be on one's toes. Watch yourself, friends.

"If you watch my speech, you won't have to worry about DIs and HIs because my speech will make you laugh and then crush your soul."

Debate

Parliamentary

Parli debaters are, quite frankly, insane. Rather than turning to rollercoasters or rebellion as means of getting an adrenaline rush, they turn to prepping a full debate round in 15 minutes. Some call them brave, others call them foolish. They're probably brave. They're definitely foolish. They are also extremely impressive, and will make you feel inferiors. And they probably have bruised knuckles because Parli is cool enough to create a new way of signifying agreement.

"Well said! Jolly good! Here here! Or is it 'hear hear?'"

Team Policy

Always digging through a debate box (or two), always researching against that one case, TPers are drowning in paper and sticky notes and extensive knowledge about some obscure topic like trade policies with South Korea. Yet out of that mess, they come up with polished speeches that actually make sense even though you aren't exactly sure what they're talking about. They will pick apart everything you say, word by word, outdated evidence by outdated evidence. Stay out of their way when they're on their way to rounds. If you do not, you will get run over by ten debate boxes and debaters lending 50+ page briefs to other competitors.

"I have three responses to your argument about why we shouldn't have Chick-Fil-A at tournaments, each with two sub-points and an MPX."

Lincoln Douglas

Most frequently found with the LD Secret Society, commenting on deep philosophical issues and the immense length of TP rounds. While they don't have a lot of time, they can still take you down on most issues, while at the same time making you question everything you once believed. Everything they say probably has a deeper meaning than you could possibly comprehend. And unlike TPers, they actually have free time and have far fewer paper cuts.

"As it relates to the value of quality of life, we can clearly see that TP does not uphold the criterion of free time, which indicates that LD is the winner of this debate round."