Merry Christmas!

Have fun opening presents, listening to Michael Buble', and giving gifts. Take a moment and remember the true meaning (I don't care how cliche' that sounds) of Christmas if you have too. Read Luke 2, watch Charlie Brown specials. And don't forget to help clean up the wrapping paper after opening gifts. And thank your parents. They do a lot for you, not just at Christmas.

Vote affirmative. That can be your gift to me. ;)

Ten Thousand

This Wednesday, after posting my Taylor Swift parody, I broke 10,000 pageviews all time history here on Kitkats and Impromptu. Not specifically that post, but all my posts. I had been counting pageviews for a few weeks leading up to this. after I hit 9,000 I knew what the next big milestone was.

I was expecting something to change.

Maybe having so many views would bump up my confidence.

Maybe having so many views would mean to beginning of my internet popularity.

Maybe having so many views would result in confetti cannons going off and balloons falling from the ceiling.

New Years, however, is still two weeks away.

Nothing has changed. I still have frizzy hair and glasses. I'm still shorter than most of my friends.

I'm not saying I was defining my entire worth off of how many views my blog had, but I guess I was expecting a small bump in value from this huge milestone. But instead I just had to figure out which button to press to take a screen shot so I could post the above picture on Facebook.

Nothing has changed. I'm still going to sit here, figuring out what songs to do parodies of and what debate related lists to make.

There are people out there who count things in the millions. I'll be here counting the dozens and hundreds and hoping to write another post with the popularity of You Know You're a Christian Homeschool Speech and Debate Kid When...

Vote affirmative. Not that it'll change anything.

I'll Flow Your Case

So I've decided to venture out from Disney parodies and try my hand at a Taylor Swift song. I do not hold the views expressed in this parody or the original song. So, without further ado...

I'll Flow Your Case - A parody of Taylor Swift's Blank Space.

Nice 1NC
Where's your flow?
I could show you my negative briefs
DAs structured perfectly
Heard you speak and I thought
Oh my gosh, look at that case
You look like my next neg loss
Debate's a game
We should partner

New briefcase
Suit and tie
I can read you like a 1AC
You have funny openers
And you know my analogies
So hey, let's trial
I'm dying to win this next tourney
Grab your aff case and my pens
I can make a novice win for a weekend

So it's gonna be the whole year
Or we'll never qualify
When the tournament's ended
We'll see if you won't cry
Got a long list of ex-partners
They'll tell you I can't speak
But you know I love debaters
And you love debate

Cause you're young and you're novice
We may not get that far
We'll make it to outrounds
Or without a new checkmark
Got a long list of ex-partners
They'll tell you I can't speak
But I've got a blank legal pad
And I'll flow your case

Colored pens
New blazer
I could show you my negative briefs
Definitions, solvency
You're the 1, baby, I'm your 2
Find out what you run
Debate that case for a month
But the tourney's yet to come
Oh no

Solvency, uninherent
I could make all the DAs turn
Contradictions in my speech
Keep you second guessing like
Oh my gosh
Signifcance destroys our case
And your speech
But I'll bring up a brand card
Cause darling, I'm 1A giving the AR

So it's gonna be the whole year
Or we'll never qualify
When the tournament's ended
We'll see if you won't cry
Got a long list of ex-partners
They'll tell you I can't speak
But you know I love debaters
And you love debate

Cause you're young and you're novice
We may not get that far
We'll make it to outrounds
Or without a new checkmark
Got a long list of ex-partners
They'll tell you I can't speak
But I've got a blank legal pad
And I'll flow your case

Judges ignore 2ARs in RFD

Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you

Judges ignore 2ARs in RFD

Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you

So it's gonna be the whole year
Or we'll never qualify
When the tournament's ended
We'll see if you won't cry
Got a long list of ex-partners
They'll tell you I can't speak
But you know I love debaters
And you love debate

Cause you're young and you're novice
We may not get that far
We'll make it to outrounds
Or without a new checkmark
Got a long list of ex-partners
They'll tell you I can't speak
But I've got a blank legal pad
And I'll flow your case

Things Everyone Has Gotten on a Ballot - The Third Year Chronicles #16

Having been to 17 tournaments over the last few years, I've noticed that, along with things that happen every tournament, there are some ballots that don't come as a surprise to anyone. Except novices. But they too learn of the ballots that come back every tournament.

1. Blank First

The judge ranks you first, but can't seem to find the words to express how much they loved your speech (???). One time, I got one of these ballots, then Mom (who was in ballot push) heard someone talk about how that judge saw this one speech that was amazing and apparently that was me. He really raved about my speech, but didn't write anything on the ballot.

2. Blank 5th and Below

You find this ballot and expect to at least get some good advice on how to improve your speaking. But instead all you get is a 5th and below and no reason as to why they would do that to you. You are left with no idea what to do. (See also 'Great job!')

3. Re-Ranked

One time I was last in the room, and apparently the judge had already decided what to rank me before I had even gone, based off the last speakers. Then I "kept getting better" and he went from ranking me fifth to ranking me second. Of course, there are other time that I've been ranked higher, and dropped from second or third to fifth and below. It happens even more frequently with speaker points on debate ballots.

 4. "You have great potential!"

Everyone has gotten this. Is there always suggestions on how to reach your potential? No. But the assurance that you have 'great potential' will surely bring some form of encouragement. Except probably not.

5. 1AR Slow Down

If that judge had ever given a 1AR, they would not be telling me to slow down. I guess not everyone has gotten this on a ballot, since not everyone has given a 1AR, but if you have, you know what I'm talking about.

6. Partner Mix-Up

All too often, the judge will get partners mixed up, whether in duo or TP or parli. My friends who are identical twins are partnered in TP and, despite the fact that they are sure to clarify who is who in every speech, they still get mixed up. It's unbelievably frustrating.

7. Great Job! (Just kidding you lost)

Similar to Blank 5th and Below, this kind of ballot provides no advice on how to improve. It does, however, tell you that you have a 'wonderful speech' or that you did a 'great job!' -5th and below. Super encouraging.

8. Foreign Language

The ballot that you spend the majority of the ballot discussion at the ballot party attempting to translate. But, as hard as you squint and stare and tilt your head, you can't make out what they're saying.

9. Random Smiley Face

Some judges think that putting a smiley face at the end of a degrading sentence will lessen the impact. This is actually true. But often it's the only legible thing on the ballot. (Smile faces are pretty great, actually.)

10. Excellent and Good

I'm not sure what this means. Is it almost excellent, but not quite? Or is it really excellent? Or were they just indecisive? I DON'T KNOW.

If I wanted to, I could go through and count all my ballots, but that would take forever. The folder containing all my speech ballots from last year is almost an inch thick. I've read so many ballots and gotten every possible rank (even eighth.) I've gotten crazy, infuriating ballots. I've gotten ballots that made my tournament.

I've cried and laughed over ballots, but in the end, they're not what matters. They won't be what we remember once we've graduated. It's the relationships and friendships built over our years in speech and debate. Maybe not all of those friendships continue after we graduate, but regardless, they are worth treasuring and worth fighting for.

And I just turned a post about ballots into a post about friendships. You're welcome.

Vote affirmative, even if the judge didn't.

(This post is part of a series called The Third Year Chronicles. Click here for TTYC #15)

((*DISCLAIMER* for the record, I know judges are the reason we can have this event. I'm undyingly grateful for the time they spend watching us and judging us. They can be frustrating sometimes, but so can we, as the competitors. Don't get me started on the crazy things people do in rounds.))

Every Tournament - The Third Year Chronicles #15

This past weekend I attended my seventeenth tournament. This was one of the... most interesting tournaments I've been to. It was one of the few tournaments I've been to without my club being a huge presence. There were only about 11 of us, aside from the juniors. The order of rounds was divergent from the average. It rained. It was foggy and cloudy. But regardless of this, there were some things that were the same as at every tournament.

Over the last couple of years, I've noticed these things are unchanging at nearly every tournament.

1. Mispronounced Names

During breaks and awards, the tournament director, no matter who he or she may be, mispronounces at least one name. Every. Single. Time. Often, the whole tournament has to shout the correct pronunciation at the director. (i.e. Wasilewski). Even if this person wins everything, the name still gets said wrong. Every tournament director does it, and we get over it.

2. Postings Stampede

Postings go up. Everyone charges the wall and surrounds the postings person. Feet are stepped on. Debate boxes are tripped over. Most debate related injuries occur here.

3. Fake Postings Stampede

Someone yells POSTINGS over the noise of the student area, and sometimes they get a group to go with them to to postings wall. But, in reality, it's just postings from the last round. People are deceived. People are angered. Those responsible for the fake rush are frequently sent to the Debate Dungeon.

4. New Embarrassing Tournament Stories

For instance, during prep before the first parli round, I was chewing gum. The judge arrived before the other team, and while we were waiting for said team, I figured I should spit out my gum. I stood up and walked behind the judge to the trash can. I bent over and, before I spit the gum out, hit my head against the whiteboard. I dropped my braided hair and it fell back over my shoulder and I spit my gum out and it landed in my hair. I tried madly to get it out, but, as you may know, gum and hair is not the greatest combination. So I had gum in my hair and on my hands and it was gross.

5. Ballot Party Insanity

The ballot party on Saturday was small, and ballots weren't discussed much. Rather, we talked about the atrocity of the Hobbit movies and even more insane tournaments and other stuff I don't remember because I was exhausted. As always, we got a little loud (mostly Katie. She was loud.) and we got shushed by a member of the hotel staff, and we discussed how cliche such an act was.

(From Thirty Seconds Used)

Also, I asked people to vote affirmative. But that doesn't actually happen every tournament. It does, however, happen every blog post.

So yeah... You should do that.

(This post is part of a series called The Third Year Chronicles. Click here for TTYC #14)