Wednesday, December 17, 2014

I'll Flow Your Case

So I've decided to venture out from Disney parodies and try my hand at a Taylor Swift song. I do not hold the views expressed in this parody or the original song. So, without further ado...

I'll Flow Your Case - A parody of Taylor Swift's Blank Space.

Nice 1NC
Where's your flow?
I could show you my negative briefs
DAs structured perfectly
Heard you speak and I thought
Oh my gosh, look at that case
You look like my next neg loss
Debate's a game
We should partner

New briefcase
Suit and tie
I can read you like a 1AC
You have funny openers
And you know my analogies
So hey, let's trial
I'm dying to win this next tourney
Grab your aff case and my pens
I can make a novice win for a weekend

So it's gonna be the whole year
Or we'll never qualify
When the tournament's ended
We'll see if you won't cry
Got a long list of ex-partners
They'll tell you I can't speak
But you know I love debaters
And you love debate

Cause you're young and you're novice
We may not get that far
We'll make it to outrounds
Or without a new checkmark
Got a long list of ex-partners
They'll tell you I can't speak
But I've got a blank legal pad
And I'll flow your case

Colored pens
New blazer
I could show you my negative briefs
Definitions, solvency
You're the 1, baby, I'm your 2
Find out what you run
Debate that case for a month
But the tourney's yet to come
Oh no

Solvency, uninherent
I could make all the DAs turn
Contradictions in my speech
Keep you second guessing like
Oh my gosh
Signifcance destroys our case
And your speech
But I'll bring up a brand card
Cause darling, I'm 1A giving the AR

So it's gonna be the whole year
Or we'll never qualify
When the tournament's ended
We'll see if you won't cry
Got a long list of ex-partners
They'll tell you I can't speak
But you know I love debaters
And you love debate

Cause you're young and you're novice
We may not get that far
We'll make it to outrounds
Or without a new checkmark
Got a long list of ex-partners
They'll tell you I can't speak
But I've got a blank legal pad
And I'll flow your case

Judges ignore 2ARs in RFD
Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you
Judges ignore 2ARs in RFD
Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you

So it's gonna be the whole year
Or we'll never qualify
When the tournament's ended
We'll see if you won't cry
Got a long list of ex-partners
They'll tell you I can't speak
But you know I love debaters
And you love debate

Cause you're young and you're novice
We may not get that far
We'll make it to outrounds
Or without a new checkmark
Got a long list of ex-partners
They'll tell you I can't speak
But I've got a blank legal pad
And I'll flow your case


2 comments:

  1. This is the best thing I have read in a long time and I sang it in my head in Taylor's voice to the flow of the song. And it worked. :D

    ReplyDelete

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