Tournamenting: A How-to - Confessions of a 4th Year

The printer has had its third malfunction this week. Your pens are already running out of ink. You madly edit that OO introduction one more time. Hot glue burns your fingers for the third time as you vainly attempt to keep your expos boards together.

It's the week of the tournament. And not just any tournament, the first tournament. The one you've been denying for weeks. The one you are so unprepared for. The one where you break-in heels and hope you break in outrounds. The one you wish you had another week to prepare for.

But it's coming, and you can't stop it. You can't stop the stress, panic and procrastination. But wait--what's this? You can survive the first tournament of the year? The eighteen hour days? The Rambo/Rambo on neg rounds?  Yes. And here's how.

1. The Panic

Wake up the morning of the tournament fifteen minutes later than you planned. How will you have time to brush your teeth, do your hair, change your clothes, print out all those last minute briefs? You panic, doing everything at twice the speed you normally would, even though it's 6AM and you went to bed at 2AM working on your neg case. You triple check to make sure you have your sticky notes, pens and scripts, knowing you've probably forgotten something anyway (probably bobby pins that your friend needs later in the day).

You end up ready fifteen minutes earlier than you intended to, so you sit around and check Facebook or read blog posts about tournaments. Then, when your mom finally gets ready (after trying on more outfits than you own), you realize you have to get your jacket, debate box, heels, emergency makeup, and timer together in five seconds flat.

2. The Prayer

On the way to the tournament facility, in the dark, at 6:30AM, your mom starts praying while you're in the middle of texting your debate partner about last minute 1AC edits. You close your eyes and pause, remembering the whole reason why you're doing this. Also you need a lot of Jesus help if you're gonna get through this weekend.

3. The Friends

Freak out because you haven't seen a lot of those people since May, or even April and March. And those people are great (they're your friends, after all) and you have a short amount of time before the first round starts, and you still have to find your debate partner and finish talking about your case (because oops, forgot to finish that text).

4. The Postings 

The tab person emerges from the pit the tab room, carrying that set of papers. Your heart drops to your stomach. You have the worst feeling--you're going to hit that team. You know, the win-every-tournament, break-at-NITOC, why-aren't-they-graduated-yet team. You make your way through the crowd of suits and heels and cologne and hormones to the front, where your worst fears are confirmed. Despite how much prep you've put into this, you're not sure you'll make it out of this round with your dignity intact.

5. The First Round

After spending too much time tracking down your partner, and more time spent finding your room, you reach the first competition room. Your opponents (*gulp*) already have their massive binder ("I thought only neg binders were that big!") and nameplates out, totally prepared and put together. You realize you need your hair out of your face, but you left the bobby-pins at home ("I knew I should've quadruple checked that list!") Shaking, your partner pulls out the negative binder, looking pathetic next to other team's stacks of briefs. The judge walks in, completely unreadable. Weren't you supposed to ask them something? Right, right, judging philosophy. Or judging paradigm. Or judging experience. ("Okay, now I'm even more confused.") Before you know it, the first round has started. And before you have a chance to breathe, the first round has ended. ("Wait, I'm still alive?") Yes, you survived. Now you only have another... entire tournament.

6.  The Huddle

Your club mates gather together in the corner (and, if you're from Invictus, block an entire walkway) for the club huddle. Someone gives a short tournament pep/motivational talk, struggling to speak over the rest of the people in the common room. Everyone at least gets the gist of what is said, someone prays, and the short people (me) get squished as everyone moves in for the whole hands in the middle shout thing, and everyone tries to be louder than the other clubs, because obviously that will make us win more.

7. The Panic (pt 2)

In the midst of the huddle, postings for the first speech round went up. You hobble in your heels ("I should've brought slippers!") to through the crowd to find your name first on the list of speakers in your room. But now you don't have time to practice your speech before going in! That ending is still rusty ("I should've practiced more!"), and hold on, which point was which? ("And I still don't have bobby-pins!")

8. The Prayer (pt 2)

Your judges are a few minutes late, so you pace outside your room, madly cramming your speech into your brain. This is the worst possible thing that could've happened, especially after the crazy morning you've had. But, hold on, what's this? An advanced speaker is coming towards your room. Uh oh. Are they in the same room as you? They broke at NITOC last year! Wait, no they're talking to you. They ask how you are, if this is your first tournament. What is this???

Super Advanced: Are ya nervous?

You: YES *cough* I mean, a little bit, sure.

Super Advanced: Do you want me to pray with you before your round?

You: *nods vigorously*

That's not exactly what you were thinking would happen, but you'll take it. The advanced speaker prays with you, and your hands shake a little less, your mind's a little clearer. You finally remember that example you use in your third point. You can do it. You can get through your first speech!

9. The People

After surviving your first two rounds, it's time for lunch ("Who could eat at a time like this??") You head into the crowded room, gaping at the line for Chick-Fil-A. You recognize a few of your friends from club and join them in line. One of the second years tells a story about clapping after the wrong debate speech. A few students from a different club are in line next to you. Another suit-clad kid from your club introduces you to the foreigners, who soon become friends. The line goes by in a flash, and you find yourself sitting with new friends. Your shoulders start loosing their tension. You know another round is coming, but that's okay. If you can get through that first round, you can get through all the rest. And plus you have some new friends to talk about your rounds with.

10. The Rest (no, not sleep)

For the rest of the tournament, you get through your rounds, finally figuring out how this tournament thing works. You wake up the next morning, this time remembering the bobby-pins and comfy shoe, but maybe forgetting your name tag. You hang out with the friends you made, you make more friends. You step out of your comfort zone. You have fun. You learn things you never knew you never knew. Maybe there are some low moments, some bad rounds, some messed up speeches. You may not come out with a trophy in your hand, but you had a good time.

There'll be time later to really get the hang of things. Now is the time to learn, grow, and have fun.

Take a deep breath, say a prayer, and vote affirmative.

NITOC - The Third Year Chronicles #27

I stand in the entry to the amphitheater and gaze around the massive space. To many, it would be a bizarre sight. Hundreds of teenagers in suits. carrying trophies and uncomfortable looking shoes. To me, though, the view is nothing unusual. Not unusual, but the epitome of bittersweet.

I spent the week with the people in this room. I don't know most of them. Some I met this week. Some I met years ago. Many had walked across the huge stage the front of the room. Many had sat in their seats and cheered for their friends. Medals drape from necks. Ballots are clutched in arms holding drawstring backpacks and snacks bought at the last minute.

My brown high-heel shoes hang from my fingertips. I'm not looking for one specific person. I'm looking at everyone, trying to be with all of them at once. The hours I'd sat through the awards ceremony, the days I spent walking around BJU's campus, and the week I spent with these people is taking its toll. The energy I had throughout the day and week is failing.

Here it is. Here we are. The end.

The end of the awards ceremony. The end of the day. The end of NITOC. The end of the 2014-2015 speech and debate year. No more electronic surveillance law or federal jurisprudence or communities' moral standards in TP and LD rounds. Broadcasting has been rotated out and replaced with monologue. Trade policies with Asian countries, liberal arts, developing countries, OI's continuance. Another year coming.

It all makes me want to cry. A long week has gone by too fast. There are so many people here I won't see for sixth months or more. Some I won't see ever again. Some have impacted me in ways not even I can see. I can only hope that I've impacted them in some way. There are so many people I need to say goodbye to, but no matter how much time I spend in this room, I cannot say enough goodbyes, enough "I love you"s, enough "thank you"s.

I didn't break in my original speech, but I did break in impromptu (to the great excitement of my club). I didn't win any events. I didn't get last place in any events. There's no trophy for me to lug back to my car. That's okay.

I watch friends and strangers mill around the room, saying their own goodbyes and congratulations. I've said a few already myself. I can almost taste the bittersweetness in the air.

"I'll see you next year!"

"I cannot believe the president skipped my name."

"Any ideas for next year?"

"I'm moving in ten days."

"I'm so proud of you!"

"...College in California."

"I love you."

Not much time passes as I stand in the back of the room. I'm so unprepared to say goodbye to my friends, so I'll be cliche and say 'see you later.' An open statement. 'Later' could mean at the ballot party, 'later' could mean next week, 'later' could mean next year. An open promise, though. Even I don't see some of these people ever again, I won't forget this week, or this year of speech and debate.

I leave my spot in the doorway. I make my way through the crowds and have to hug most of my friends at least three times before I'm somewhat satisfied with the beginning of our separation.

NITOC is over. There were a lot of hard spots. Thursday night breaks. Occasionally confusing behavior from my friends. Short nights. Long walks. Heavy boxes. Small hotel room. Three flights of stairs. Leaving my meal tickets at the hotel. Leaving my goldfish at the hotel. Feeling like passing out. Folding two hundred t-shirts. Friends breaking, friends not breaking.

Yes, there were hard spots. But the good spots, the perfect moments, the rejoicing, the small conversations, the frisbee games, the outrounds, the cute suits and kind hearts, getting lost with friends, seeing chipmunks, cheering for my friends and club mates, the sunglasses, the first round, the last round. Every real smile. Every kind word. These things overshadow the rough patches.

When I finally get in the car to go back to the hotel for the ballot party, my mind rolls over the past nine days. The lessons I've learned or relearned. Moments I'll hold onto for years.

I take a deep breath and stare out the window. I won't likely drive down this road again, so I watch the trees blur by in the darkness. I memorize the way the moon looks in South Carolina. I don't cry, but I could. Not necessarily from sadness, or happiness either. But from both.

I thank God for my friends and my family, because without them I wouldn't be anything like the person I am, and I kind of like who I am. I like where I am, right now. This tournament was long and hard and wonderful. Maybe not the best tournament ever, but it's been pretty fantastic. Even if I won't remember every detail, I'll remember what's important. I'll remember the love and pride I feel for my friends, however well they did in competition this year. I'll remember the relationships. I'll remember the people.

Vote affirmative. I'll see you next year.

(This post is part of a series called The Third Year Chronicles. Click here for TTYC #26)

No Regrets - The Third Year Chronicles #22

I had barely unpacked my suitcase before having to pack my suitcase.

Before now, I've never had two consecutive tournaments. Last week, I was in Missouri for (duh) a tournament. This one was pretty different from other tournaments I've been to. I had never been to a tournament in MO before. There was a lot of snow and ice (snow would've been great, if I hadn't been wearing pencil skirts and heels). Parli and extemp, two of the three events I did, were both on Wednesday, so I only had motivational the rest of the time. Plus, a lot of my friends weren't there.

At the tournament this weekend (GLYW), most of my friends will be there, I have something both speech patterns as well as parli. It'll be the fourth time I've been to this tournament, and it's always been one of my favorites.

But the craziest part about this whole thing is that these tournaments are only a few days apart from each other. I almost didn't go to GLYW this year because of a conflict with another event this weekend. I'm really looking forward to it. Also, I'm nervous because I need another check in parli and in motivational plus I'm doing a speech I literally memorized today.

But I'm not regretting the decision to do both tournaments. I had a blast in Missouri. I'll probably have a blast in Tyler. They're different, yes. But that's not bad. Maybe I'll do a tournament recap. It's been a while since I've done that.

Vote affirmative. I have to go pack. Again.

(This post is part of a series called The Third Year Chronicles. Click here for TTYC #21)

Every Tournament - The Third Year Chronicles #15

This past weekend I attended my seventeenth tournament. This was one of the... most interesting tournaments I've been to. It was one of the few tournaments I've been to without my club being a huge presence. There were only about 11 of us, aside from the juniors. The order of rounds was divergent from the average. It rained. It was foggy and cloudy. But regardless of this, there were some things that were the same as at every tournament.

Over the last couple of years, I've noticed these things are unchanging at nearly every tournament.

1. Mispronounced Names

During breaks and awards, the tournament director, no matter who he or she may be, mispronounces at least one name. Every. Single. Time. Often, the whole tournament has to shout the correct pronunciation at the director. (i.e. Wasilewski). Even if this person wins everything, the name still gets said wrong. Every tournament director does it, and we get over it.

2. Postings Stampede

Postings go up. Everyone charges the wall and surrounds the postings person. Feet are stepped on. Debate boxes are tripped over. Most debate related injuries occur here.

3. Fake Postings Stampede

Someone yells POSTINGS over the noise of the student area, and sometimes they get a group to go with them to to postings wall. But, in reality, it's just postings from the last round. People are deceived. People are angered. Those responsible for the fake rush are frequently sent to the Debate Dungeon.

4. New Embarrassing Tournament Stories

For instance, during prep before the first parli round, I was chewing gum. The judge arrived before the other team, and while we were waiting for said team, I figured I should spit out my gum. I stood up and walked behind the judge to the trash can. I bent over and, before I spit the gum out, hit my head against the whiteboard. I dropped my braided hair and it fell back over my shoulder and I spit my gum out and it landed in my hair. I tried madly to get it out, but, as you may know, gum and hair is not the greatest combination. So I had gum in my hair and on my hands and it was gross.

5. Ballot Party Insanity

The ballot party on Saturday was small, and ballots weren't discussed much. Rather, we talked about the atrocity of the Hobbit movies and even more insane tournaments and other stuff I don't remember because I was exhausted. As always, we got a little loud (mostly Katie. She was loud.) and we got shushed by a member of the hotel staff, and we discussed how cliche such an act was.

(From Thirty Seconds Used)

Also, I asked people to vote affirmative. But that doesn't actually happen every tournament. It does, however, happen every blog post.

So yeah... You should do that.

(This post is part of a series called The Third Year Chronicles. Click here for TTYC #14)

People - The Third Year Chronicles #12

I arrived at the tournament facility early. My mom works in ballot push, so I showed up a half hour earlier than everyone else. I sat at a table near the judges' area and pulled out Pride and Prejudice. A few people from Action, the debate club hosting the tournament, were there early to help set up. I set the book down after reading a chapter and start greeting my few friends who were there.

Then people really started showing up. It was, of course to be expected. But, for some reason, I wasn't expecting it. Maybe I was too busy trying to get my really buddy to calm down about LD, or because I was too excited about parli to think about it. But when the tournament came I wasn't expecting the abundance of people. I recognized many of them, and met more.

I can't believe I forgot about my favorite part of tournaments. The hanging out and talking and laughing and the friendship. It's rare to find a group of people who have camaraderie like we have in Stoa, or at least in StoaSouth.

Debate is awesome and speech is great but we tend to forget that one of the best parts of this whole homeschool forensics thing is the friendships. Tournament would be stressful and boring if we focused only on the competition and ignored the fellowship.

Vote affirmative, and don't forget.

(This post is part of a series called The Third Year Chronicles. Click here for TTYC #11)

Go Light Your World - Just Try Not to Set Anything On Fire: A Tournament Recap

(Warning: This post is dangerously long. Proceed with caution.)
(Warning- The Sequel: This is totally out of order, because the order of events is really foggy in my memory, and it would take about a week to get the order right and by that time I would already be having panic attacks because of the Wescalade next week.)

I wasn't exactly ready for GLYW (pronounced GLU-wa). I've been giving my speeches all year and I wasn't even doing duo because *coughcoughkalebcoughcough*, but it wasn't speech I wasn't prepared for. Mostly it was parli. Yep. I did parli for the first time (in forever). I did it with my awesome TP partner. I had my first parli round ever the Sunday before the tournament with a makeshift partner, and my second ever the night before with my actual partner. We were doing parli, an event that is already difficult to prepare for, for the first time with next to no prep before hand. And it. was. AWESOME.

Even though we only went 1-5, we had a blast. We had nothing to lose, so we went in there and got an adrenaline rush and a fatter ballot packet. I deciphered my writing, which had been scribbled down as fast as possible in the shortest fifteen minutes of our lives. Why is it that waiting for a ten minute speech to be done for your turn in a round feels like thirty minutes and the fifteen minutes we have for parli seems shorter than impromptu prep? Mysteries that will never be solved.

Because my wonderful duo partner didn't come, and because they didn't have impromptu (L), I only had two speech events. I switched my persuasive to an OO after the Oklahoma tournament, figuring I had nothing to lose since I had yet to get any checks in anything but duo and impromptu, and impromptu doesn't even count. But anyway. Both of my speeches were in one pattern which means I had a free pattern. And during this pattern I was outside singing, "I could go running, and racing, and dancing, and chasing, and leaping, and bounding, hair flying, heart pounding, and splashing and reeling and finally feeling now's when my time is free!"

I managed to drag a bunch of people in to watch my OO first round and they all squeezed into the tiny room that my round was in. They all loved it and they all said I was great and it really encouraged me to hear that people liked it, even the judges didn't. And I finally got the kid who inspired my speech to watch it the second round.

My DI (yes, I'm doing a DI. #thingsyoudidntknowbouthadley) was 10:05 first round, and I'm not sure how that happened since it used to be eight minutes and I didn't add anything to it. I had some friends who were really nice and encouraging after seeing it and they were (and are) amazing. I ended up one spot away from getting a greencheck mark.

On the first day, I was second to last in my OO room, and I stayed and watched my friend's OO (Which, by the way, is more than a little amazing.) So I was walking to go to lunch, but everyone was already going to worship, so I figured they were having lunch after worship. So I went to worship and then they announced that postings for the second TP round were up. I realized that they had served lunch before worship. And now I have to go to a debate round. And now I'm mad, because I wanted Chick-Fi-La. And I didn't get Chick-Fi-La. And after managing to calm myself to down to a point of being able to debate without having a panic attack, I debated and eventually ended up with food in my mouth. Needless to say (that phrase makes no sense), I made sure to get to lunch on time from then on.

Me and my awesome tournament buddies (you know who you are) hung out behind the tournament facility (I swear we weren't like doing drugs or anything). This is probably my favorite tournament facility, for a couple of reasons. 1. The rooms are near perfect. They're all pretty decent sizes, with a good number of rooms. It's only one story, and the three sections are all easy to figure out. 2. The other (better) reason this facility is so great is the woods out back. A very short way from the church there's a fairly secluded area with a swinging bench (that totally isn't broken) and a round table where we held our knight meetings.

I made friends, hung-out with friends, counted down to the weather with friends, and actually debated against my best friend.

When my Really Buddy told me we were hitting each other in parli, I honestly thought she was joking. When I realized she was serious, I kind of freaked out and hoped I wouldn't get up and say, "my really buddy, in her last speech said something about something." That would have been awkward. And we had a huge group come in and watch, and we never had a group come to specifically watch us in parli the whole rest of the tournament. But that's not all.

Two seconds after I left the room, my Really Buddy came and was like, 'we're hitting you again!' I did not believe her. But she isn't one to say things like that. So after a moment I realized she was telling the truth and I freaked out. And it was a lot of fun, and really fun, and we passed notes like every two seconds. ("Would you agree that five billion plus three billion equals ten billion"?)

At one point during the tournament, I was walking through the woods with my friends, and I wearing a skirt and we happened to walk by some thorns, and my ankle happened to come in contact with some of those thorns. And we kept walking even though I was bleeding. It wasn't that bad, but eventually I was like, "Okay, I should probably go wash this and put a band-aid on it, seeing as I have a debate round soon.'

I was really nervous during the awards ceremony, because I didn't break to finals in OO (they just had a third round for DI), so I didn't know if I would get a check mark. I had been really frustrated earlier because I've been giving my speech all year and, even with improvements, it still hadn't improved. I was always three or fewer spots away from a check. I changed it from a persuasive to an OO because I felt I would do better there, and when I didn't I was kind of mad.

So I sat nervously in my seat when they announced that there would be twelve checks in OO. I still had four chances for a check. I bit my lip as they called twelve place up to get one of the sparkly check marks they always give at GLYW. When they called my name for eleventh place, I freaked out. I practically ran on stage and I swear the people (mostly my awesome tournament buddies cheered louder than they did for first place. If you were just to see my expression, and the way people reacted, you would've thought I had gotten first.

We had a small, pathetically short ballot party in the lobby of our hotel that ended really early because of some baseball kids, and then I hung out with my debate partner in her hotel room until 12:00AM talking about how much fun we had, and about how crazy judges are.

A lot more things than the few mentioned in the post happened. From the 15 Game to Batman, this tournament was pretty crazy. I got to see almost all of my speech and debate friends. I learned that sometimes the people who need to hear your speech aren't the judges. Maybe it's the timer, or an audience who came in to watch someone else's speech, or the person you had to drag in to watch your speech. Because it's not about winning the trophies, the medals, or the green check marks. It's about lighting your world. Which was kind of the entire point of the tournament.

Go light your world, and vote affirmative, because that would light up my day. :) But try not to set your yard on fire. (And wow this is super out of order. I warned you.)

Refract Light Like A Diamond - A Tournament Re-cap

No. I will not get up at seven. I glared at my glowing blue alarm clock then turned and buried my face in my pillow. You're supposed to sleep a lot before a debate tournament, because you won't get a chance for the next three to four days. But no. Me and my stupid Pre Tournament Sleep Disorder. I managed to stay in bed for another hour and finally got up at eight, supposedly two hours before we were going to leave.

I finished packing like, two hours before we actually left. so I sat around and cleaned and whatever until we left an hour after the intended departure time. Then I sat in a car for five hours. We (my family and I) listened to Adventures in Odyssey because, guh doy, we're homeschoolers, and then we sat and they (my family) listened to music in their own little introvert worlds until we reached our intended destination. We went to eat with some of our club. We went back to our hotel where tournament check in was, and I saw my fantastical TP partner who lives in AR and don't even ask how that works because it's not important. So then we hung out and talked about bananas and debate and cookies and stuff.

After going to bed, which took way too long considering the fact that we had to be there at 6:30 the next morning, I woke up and got dressed and was ready long before the rest of the people in the room which was my whole family minus my oldest brother. I didn't go downstairs because I thought that breakfast wasn't served down there until 6:30, which is when we had to be at the tournament.We eventually were ready and went to the tournament for a very, very long day.

I said hi to my TP partner again, and to other friends. Some I hadn't seen since April or even March. Some I had seen on Tuesday. But it didn't matter. I was reunited with my friends. And then we had a debate round. My fantabulous partner and I debated groggily, since it was 7:30 and I am not at high functioning capacity at that time of day.

Soon after that debate round, Speech round 1, pattern A started. I had three events so I bounced from round to round giving speeches and panicking. I can't even remember what my impromptu topic was. (But apparently it was a good speech because I got a first that round.) Then we had lunch, which I was very grateful for, considering the fact that I hadn't eaten all day. So I ate food, then went to judge juniors.

When we received the list, I thought that maybe that was a list of all the junior platformers. Nay nay. It was all the juniors in the room. There were nine. Nine cute little kids giving expos speeches. They were adorable. They were quite talented. There were also a lot of them. Nine kids in one room. There were ten in the room my partner was judging in. I decided not to judge any more juniors the rest of the tournament for fear of being late to my TP round, or worse, delaying the whole tournament which is what ended up happening that first round.

I practically ran to my TP round when postings went up. I honestly have no recollection of what team we hit that round, but it was a lot of fun and, like in all of my aff rounds, I got to quote the Lion King. Then it was Speech round B, in which my duo was in. I hoped I wouldn't end up killing my duo partner for being late, but he managed to be there on time and we gave our duo and he lives to this day.

Then we had juniors and parli round two, and I wasn't going to judge juniors for fear of getting stuck  judging ten kids in the room, so I sat around bored, until I decided to watch my friends debate. I sat in the room, waiting for the round to start, and when it did I started texting my friend Hannah, who couldn't make it to the tournament, live updates about the round. I came up with a team name for the team I was watching, (Marjamin) and did so for the rest of the tournament. I sat outside my DI room for round two, texting Hannah about the odd conversation I was having until it was my turn to go, then I waited forever until we actually left the building and returned to the hotel.

My partner and I debated my ex-debate partner the next morning. It was totally weird and almost awkward. But then my former debate partner is always weird and awkward so it wasn't any different than usual. My duo partner and I got like a million people to come watch our duo, because last time no one came to watch us. So my duo partner kept getting chairs for people to sit in because there were a lot of people and they all watched and it was great.

Then after lunch was parli and juniors round three. I watched another parli round, again giving Hannah live commentary about the team with the awesomest team name ever: Australia. Then there was a debate round and a speech round where I bounced from room to room because I had three events in one pattern because I am an insane person. I remember when I used to look at people who did five events like they were crazy. But now I know that they are not crazy. Just... mentally unstable.

Another debate round and then we would end the day with a speech round. No one was showing up for the duo room my partner and I were in, including my partner. So I had one of my friends track him down to apol and drag him back up to the room where I threatened to kill him but everything was okay and our duo went really well and I got to sing.

After duo, my friends and I started coming up with a song parody to Love is an Open Door. Then later I came up with one to When Will My Life Begin and also one to Do You Want To Build A Snowman? And I slept and I woke up and I flipped out because breaks were that morning. I got ready and actually ate breakfast and we went to the tournament and I broke in impromptu and then there was a parli round to kill time for tab and so I wrote down the live commentary because Hannah was not responding to my texts. Apparently normal people sleep in on Saturdays or something crazy like that. And one of the debaters who is usually very serious said 'funzies' within the round. I died. Not really. I'm still alive. Clearly.

So then I waited outside of impromptu finals, which was right next door to apol finals. Which means I got to listen in on a very long conversation from the apol finalists. Amendment: a very long theological debate from the apol finalists. Then I finally went in to impromptu finals and there were a ton of people in there which was weird because what kind of crazy person watches impromptu finals when duo is down the hall? But my speech went well and the judges apparently liked it.

Then there was another debate round because having a debate round after speech finals makes a lot of sense. (Read: having Debate round 6 after finals does not make sense.) So we exhaustedly debated and I changed clothes and sat around and "watched" parli finals and "watched" TP finals and ate amazing pasta like seriously the best ever (for a tournament) and then I wrote more song parodies before awards. Then I flipped out because my friends are amazing. Then I got a shiny, beautiful, blingy, second place trophy. And then we went to the ballot party which was pretty good, but not as good as last year's AR Diamond ballot party, but that was like, the best ballot party ever and will be pretty hard to beat.

And so now I have tournament hangover. Vote affirmative, because I have nothing else to say. Please excuse me while I go refresh Speechranks until they post scores.

Happy tournamenting!

The StoaSouth Prologue - a Tournament Re-cap

I woke up the morning before the tournament at 5:00AM. Why? Because I had Pre Tournament Sleep Disorder. Why? Because it was right before a tournament, and that's how you end up with such a disorder. I listened to an Adventures in Odyssey before getting up, and then I walked into my bathroom, to this message written in a lovely shade of blue... "THE TOURNAMENT IS TOMORROW! GET TO WORK!" So I did just that. I practiced my two prepared speeches and worked on debate and straightened my hair. That evening we had special debates at my debate coach's house.

I live in Texas. My debate partner lives in Arkansas. How does this make sense? It doesn't. But I love my wonderful TP partner, who I hardly ever see, so when I saw her the day before the tournament, I was more than a little excited. We debated with our case for the first time against some of my best friends. I learned much of tiny fish. And I came up with a great quote for the 1AR/2AC. Let's just say, it has to do with VeggieTales.

And then I went home and ate toquitoes. And then I printed off briefs. SO MANY BRIEFS. My printer had a heart attack, then I started writing this blog post three days early. Then I said I was going to bed. Then I watched two episodes of Parks and Rec. Then I got in bed. And didn't sleep. For a long time. When I finally fell asleep, it seemed only moments before I woke up again. It didn't take me long to realize that it was the day of the tournament.

I struggled through the cold of my bedroom and blinked at the oncoming light of my bathroom. I practiced half of my persuasive then realized that practicing a speech at 5:20AM is not the best of ideas. So I turned on an Adventures in Odyssey tape instead (homeschooling, guys). It was exceptionally cold in my bedroom, and putting on a skirt did not assist the temperature. I tried singing 'Let It Go', from Disney's new movie Frozen, but saying 'the cold never bothered me anyway' doesn't really help.

I gathered my belongings and ate two sausage and biscuit and waited for a very long time before we actually left. When the time came, I hobbled out in my heels, to very un-Texan weather. Freezing. So cold. So so cold. I sat in the freezing car and rode in the freezing car for fifteen minutes from our house to the tournament facility, where I quickly walked inside, demanding that my brother get my debate box out of the suburban.

Warmth. That church was well heated. It was soon to be hot, when all those teenagers in suits would show up. And show up they did. SO MANY PEOPLE. Everywhere. Black suits. I was the hipster in her tan really awesome suit. After our first debate round, it was time the first pattern of speech, which I had all of my events in. I gave my duo with my awesome duo partner, without even realizing that it was a.) the first speech I had given in competition since NITOC and b.) it was the first interp I had ever given in competition ever. (Except juniors, but whatev's.) And my partner didn't even mess up! (*Coughcoughkalebcoughcough*) I got a judge on the verge of tears in my persuasive and my judge seemed to like my impromptu.

Another debate round, an empty speech pattern. Lunch, friends, more debate, and lastly another speech round. I ran to postings with the crowd. 'Hahaha...' I thought 'I bet I'm going to end up going first in all of my events.' I looked at duo, to find that I was actually forth in the room. 'Guess I was wrong.' I looked at persuasive postings, to find that I was indeed first in the room. I looked at impromptu postings to see when I was going. First. It was kind of like the time I told everyone I was going to get hit in the face with a frisbee, then got hit in the neck instead.

After giving my speeches, I walked around with some of my friends and had awkward conversations about awkward conversations. When we finally left, I was ready to get home and eat and relax for awhile. I had a long day ahead of me. I somehow managed to go to sleep without hours of worrying whether or not I would break, like I usually do the night before the last day of the tournament.

When I heard my mother knock on my door, the debate tournament was far from my mind. I was probably thinking about Adventures in Odyssey or something. But the second I heard that knock I flew from my bed. THERE'S A TOURNAMENT TODAY! I threw on my suit (haha! Just kidding, that makes no sense. You can't just throw a suit on), I put on my purple eyeshadow for purple day, I froze my poor little legs off. Mom informed me that I did indeed have to go earlier than the normal competitors who don't have tournament coordinators for moms. I hobbled out in the cold, which was somehow colder than the day before and sat in the freezing car for fifteen minutes.I greeted my friends as we and they arrived until the first round started. I debated, and after I timed Mars Hill.

My two favourite parts of timing MH were 1.) My friend John used mine and his brother's duo in his speech about Wicked, which happens to be my favourite musical that I've never seen, and 2.) Getting to say thirty seconds used. And I got to say it a lot. It was very amusing. 'Thirty seconds used. *restrained giggles.*' It was a great struggle not to get distracted thinking about Wicked, which I hoped someone would talk about because, as previously stated, that's my favourite musical I've never seen. In the process I got Defying Gravity and subsequently For Good stuck in my head (both songs from Wicked).

After debate round five, it was time for speech breaks. I had to use the restroom, but I couldn't leave the room without risking missing something. So I stayed. I hugged my friends who broke in apol, broadcasting, etc., then I sat down for duo breaks. As they went down the names, my hopes diminished for breaking. When the tournament director mispronounced a name and was determined to get it right, I thought that was the end. That's when I heard it. Did I hear it? Yes, I heard it. Did I hear right? Yes. I did. The team name 'Hall/Jones' came out of the tournament director's mouth. And I fell out of my chair. Literally. I fell out of my chair. On to the ground. My friends can attest to this.

After recovering from the duo shock, I walked across the room to awkward side-hug my duo partner (he's a guy. No front hugs for guys). I sat in another chair as the tournament director moved onto the next event. I asked my chair neighbour what event this was, and as soon as said neighbour informed me that it was impromptu breaks, the tournament director (who is the father of two of my best friends) looked down/up from the podium lectern at me and said 'Hadley Jones.' And I was like, 'WHATOMIGOSHTHANKYOUJESUS!' And once breaks were through the first thing did was rush to the bathroom. I prayed with like, twenty people before the round and gave my impromptu speech. Afterwards I kept looking through the window into the duo room.

I had never been in finals in an event that people actually watch. In impromptu finals, I had a bunch of people follow me, and people watched me in persuasive finals. But that was different. There were thirteen people  max in those rooms. And they had come specifically to watch me, mostly because I asked them to. But duo is the event everyone comes to watch. EVERYONE. Well, some people watch HI finals, but half the tournament was in the duo room. We (my partner and I, and everyone who wanted to watch our speech and were not yet in the room) walked in and asked permission to remove our nametags and jackets. And we did our duo.

At some point during the tournament, I played the Bible version of Apples to Apples. I was winning, but then we had to go do a group photo and there were breaks at some point and a debate round and I really have no idea when all this happened. You tend to lose track of time at tournaments. So we had a debate round, played Apples to Apples, and took a group photo at some point in time, not necessarily in that order.

I was going to have a "photo shoot" with my friends, but they kept telling us to go watch debate finals, which I was trying to avoid, and I had to watch it anyway and I was not the happiest of campers. After awhile we started the awards ceremony I got my medal for eighth place duo (I'd like to mention that I now have eighth place medals for every speech event I've competed in. Which is three.) and then went and stood for impromptu.

When the first name they called wasn't mine, I knew that I had just gotten the highest rank I'd ever gotten. The second name called also wasn't mine. The next three names called weren't mine. My name was the sixth name called. Which means I got third. Which means I got a trophy. My first real live trophy! And it was pretty and crystal and said third place on it. And my three friends, of whom I am the shortest, emphatically hugged me. Especially Maria. She hugged me a lot. Like, a whole lot. A ridiculous amount of hugging. And it was awesome because even though she also broke to impromptu finals and was on stage.

After awards everyone got their ballots and either went home or went to their hotel or went to our TP coach's house. And I got the most hilarious comment on a ballot, only it was actually for my duo partner. Most of the ballots were actually legible. And some people were really nice and gave me firsts in persuasive. Then I stayed the night with my debate partner, who lives in Arkansas but was staying at our coach's house. And we watched Mulan. And slept. And woke  up way too early. And I went home and did nothing, as planned. Tournament recovery is more than mildly difficult. I'm still recovering.

One more thing... I got to ask people to vote affirmative for reals, which I hadn't done since April. Which was eight months ago. But I'm still going to ask you to vote affirmative. To save the forage fish. The poor little guys.

That Amazing Moment When Something You Really, Really Wanted to Happen But Didn't Expect to Happen Actually Happens

Before we get into today's debate round I'd like to offer the following  story that happened at NITOC:

It was Wednesday, I think. It was also lunch time. Or dinner time. Either way, we were eating at a table. And by we, I mean my friends. And by my friends I mean Anna Little, her triplet sister Emma, their friend Taylor,  my friend Emily, my friend Austin, and some other people. The following took place:

Anna: We should watch the Doctor Who season finale sometime this week.

Me: YESOMIGOSHWESHOULD.

Anna: YESOFCOURSETHATSWHYISAIDITDUH.

Austin: Unfortunately, we don't have a room past Saturday. I'll have to find someone else to sleep with.

Everyone else: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?

Austin: I mean bunker down with!

Anna: That's even worse!!!

Austin: I MEAN IN A ROOM WITH ALL BOYS AND NO GIRLS!

Everyone else: . . . . . . . .

Austin: I AM NOT GAY!

...later...

Someone: I can tell what colour personality people are.

Austin: AM I A RAINBOW?

Emily: *Quietly* I thought you said you weren't gay.

Moving on with the point of this post: Part two in the 'That Amazing Moment When' series: When something you really, really wanted to happen but didn't expect to actually happens.

Like I've said, I used to hate impromptu, and was therefore forced against my will to give impromptu speeches. I've told this story before. However, I would like to go into more detail.

Lalala, let's just skip impromptu Friday's because I've told you about that before. So let's go to the first club meeting. Mrs. Martin was telling us about impromptu because she is the impromptu queen.

Mrs. Martin: The key to giving good/five minute impromptu speeches is using examples. For example: One time I was in a debate round. It was my son and his debate partner. I was sitting behind this totally adorable, insanely cute timer. Now this poor timer was bored. I mean, it was a debate round and those things are long. But the Timer didn't want to bother the competitors or the judge by drawing because drawing makes a lot of noise. So the Timer must find some way to amuse herself without doing so. And guess what! There's a lovely, exceptionally large bottle of hand-sanitizer on the table. And so the Timer *makes exaggerated motion to show the Timer pumping the hand-sanitizer* gets some hand-sanitizer on her hands. But of course, it would evaporate so she would have to get more hand-sanitizer to amuse herself. But, as we all know, hand-sanitizer has a little thing called alcohol in it. And alcohol smells bad. And it bothers judges noses. So, during prep time, the judge and her bothered nose grabs the bottle of hand-sanitizer and puts it on the other side of the table. I am trying not to laugh because the Timer is trying not to cry.

People at club listening to this story: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT IS THE BEST THING EVERY MRS. MARTIN!

Me: *Trying not to cry because I am so dang embarrassed because that 'timer' was me and that was super embarrassing and I really was trying not to cry but I'm also laughing at the same time because I am trying to laugh at myself in a good way because Mrs. Martin always tells me to do that and if I start crying she'll probably make me even more embarrassed and also that story is pretty funny especially the way she tells it.*

That story really isn't that relevant to this story. But it kind is. But not really. So I knew that weather or not I wanted to, I would be doing impromptu at my first tournament because Mrs. Martin would make me. As in, she would hack my registration and sign me up for impromptu. So I did impromptu. And I gave a speech about how good examples are the best sermons. And I told the hand-sanitizer story and how Mrs. Martin used it to get our attention. So that's why I put that story at the beginning of the post. Yep, that's totally why. And now for any other reasons at all. *coughcoughkalebcoughcough* It was a relatively okay speech, I guess. The next round my topic was *drumroll* "Classic Books - Tom Sawyer, The Red Badge of Courage, Don Quixote." I think that's how that's spelled. I sure couldn't pronounce it. In fact, the judge corrected my pronunciation. So at first I said something. I'm not sure what it was. Then I rambled on and on and on about how the morals of today's books are always boyfriends/girlfriends, and how much better classic books are sooooooooooo much better. I don't actually believe that entirely, but I pretended like I did.

I don't think my judge was convinced, because he ranked me 5th and Below. So did the judge from my first round. So both of my judges obviously were biased. Or crazy. Or uneducated. So. The next tournament. I didn't do any work at all. I didn't do a lick of work on impromptu and barely any on persuasive. And, like I said before, no work doesn't pay  off, except in fifth and below ballots. And that's what I got.

Actually, I got an eighth. An eighth. You see, they circled 5th and below. And then wrote eighth. THERE IS A REASON IT ONLY SAYS '5th and below' ON THE BALLOT! I was just like, 'you're a terrible person!' In a really high, kind of raspy voice. I was not happy with that person. On my other two ballots I got fourths. Which actually isn't that bad. The highest rank I'd ever gotten in impromptu up to that point. But I wasn't discouraged! Okay, yes I was. I was very discouraged. I wasn't really proud of any of my speeches. In fact, I kind of hated all of them. But then at the next tournament something amazing happened!

"I don't know. Something amazing, I guess..."

I gave an impromptu speech I actually liked! It was about a little thing I like to call 'books.' And I love books. So I ranted for five minutes about how amazing books are and it was amazing(ish)! Well, it was the best impromptu speech I'd ever given. So then I kind of actually maybe even liked impromptu.

AND THEN SOMETHING AMAZING HAPPENED AGAIN! I got that sparkly green check-mark I mentioned before. I mean, they actually gave out these tangible foam things that were check marks and were covered in glitter and sparkles and it was amazing! And I got one for persuasive too! And that tournament was a lot of fun besides that. I got to see my friends, I got to talk to my friends, I got to hang out with my friends, I got to watch my friends' speeches, blahblahblah friends, friends, friends.

BUT THEN SOMETHING EVEN MORE AMAZING HAPPENED! I broke. I broke I broke I broke I broke I broke I broke I broke I broke I broke! To semi-finals. SEMIS! SEMIS! And then I broke to FINALS! FINALS! And technically, I got last in finals. BUT I BEAT THE OTHER 80 IMPROMPTUERS! So ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha.

And so then I was qualified for NITOC/Nationals in both persuasive and impromptu. And nothing else is really important. And I'll write about it later, because this post is getting long. So the end.

Vote affirmative, and you may get a check mark.

Recap: National Invitational Tournament Of Champions (AKA Nationals)

So I didn't post for a week. Why? I was in Arkansas. Why? Because of NITOC. What the heck is that? Nationals. What for? Speech and debate. But only speech for me. So now I'm going to tell you everything (that I remember) about this past week, because I feel like boring you to death. Jkjk...

Sunday, May 19, 2013
We left. At like, 11:43. And drove. For like, 6:00 hours. This was an incredibly uneventful drive. I basically ate some chips and cheez-itz and listened to Adventures in Odyssey. Blahblahblah we got to the hotel, I saw a couple friends down in the lobby, I hung my suits up in the closet, we ate I think, and then I went to bed or something. Booooorriiiiing.

Monday, May 20, 2013
Parli day! So we take like a billion years to find out where we're supposed to park. At first I don't see anyone I know, but then I see my friend John on a bench with his baby brother. So I restrain myself from running away from the awkwardness of awkwardly wandering around trying to find out what the heck to do. Then my friends the Martins show up. I'm not being very descriptive because I don't want to write a long post about how we found a butterfly that stuck to Hannah Martin's shoulder and hand without moving. So. Moving on.

Six rounds of parli, with me wandering around John Brown University (where NITOC was) without a clue where everything was. Then I saw one of my numerous friends and I was very happy because I hadn't seen here in like two months. So I hung out with her for a long time. Then I hung out with my other friend who I also hadn't seen in two months.. So we helped each other practice our respective speeches. I rode on Mrs. Martin's golf cart, which she was driving around the college. Nothing that interesting happened until later.

Me and my family were going to skip out on announcements because they would probably be boring and useless. So me, my mother, my sister Kylie, and my oldest brother Adam were headed out to the car. Somehow or another, we got separated and I ended up with my youngest but older brother Conner. ((Clarification: Kylie is 19, Adam is 18, and Conner is 16. I turned 14 a month ago.)) So me, Mom and Conner stood outside the student lounge thing, waiting for my Dad and other siblings. As we are going back inside, the tornado sirens sound. Like, really really really loudly. It had been cloudy all day and had started to rain some, then the rain had stopped and now the sirens were going off. I restrain myself from running downstairs in a total panic attack and hiding in the deepest, darkest, safest corner of the building. Oh, and I forgot to mention, there were about 500+ people stuffed in the various locker rooms. When me, Mom and my brother got into the locker room, there were some very intelligent people praying. There were a few metal folding chairs. My mom took the last one that wasn't still folded and I set my amazing new backpack on the ground next to it. Then the room got mysteriously dark. Either someone knocked all the light switches or the power went out because of, oh I don't know, the tornado. My friend Elenya (E-len-yuh) was sitting on the floor and I sat down next to her. Off course, it was boring just sitting there waiting for the lights to come back on so we could go back to the hotel and do nothing. So me and Elenya stood up and wandered around from locker room to locker room, trying to find someone more interesting than those two girls taking selfies during a tornado warning. I don't recognize anyone, but it's hard when all the light is coming from peoples' cellphones and iPods. Eventually we just return to the locker room in which we originally were situated. It's not long until the sirens stop and we are allowed to leave finally. Only here's the thing: my two oldest siblings are still MIA. So me, mom, dad, and Conner and going back and forth looking for those people. There are  spoons and napkins and stuff sprawled all over the floor of the gym, where the student center was. There was supposedly standing water in there, but it was just wet. Finally, we find them and trudge across the soaking wet ground to where my dad had parked the car. My mom takes a picture of the huge tree that had fallen over and we drive to the hotel, which was about five minutes away from JBU.

Only guess what? The power was out. So it was dark. Duh. The hotel lobby provided us with flashlights and these weird heart-shaped push lights that the hotel had for who knows why. So we walked up the stairs (because, duh, the elevator wasn't working) and for some amazing reason the door worked. My mom accidentally leaves our abnormally large camera bag outside of our room. So we got in our room and opened the curtains. Thankfully, it's light enough outside to provide us with a reasonable amount of vision. After a minute of sitting there doing nothing, my mom mentions something about a kid stuck in the elevator. Me, Conner and Kylie totally flip out at this fascinating discovery and run down the hall to find out if this is true. Conner knocks on the elevator doors.
"Boy in the elevator? Are you okay?"
There is no answer. My mom tells us to go downstairs and help this mom get her stuff out of her car since she has a bunch of little kids. The stairway closer to us isn't lit for some odd reason so I turn and start running  the other direction to the other stairway. It was dark. I was running. As fast as I could. Which, come to think, isn't very fast. And as I'm running the ground suddenly becomes non-existent, and it feels like a dream or something. As I am flying through the air I remember the camera bag. Then I fall flat on my face. Seriously. On my face. And my knee, which is scraped. So I'm half laughing, half crying as I push myself from the ground, totally embarrassed. I go back into our room where I discover that my poor glasses have broken. Not in half or anything, but they're super loose now and refuse to stay on my ear when ever I bend over, or jump, or run, or do anything that involves moving. Anyways. A bunch of our friends who were staying at the same hotel came up to our room and we played cars and talked about the kid in the elevator.

And that was the most interesting thing that happened at NITOC. I might possibly potentially write more about this tournament later, like the power flashes and stuff. But I'm too lazy to write it all now. I'm not very good at writing about things that happened recently, and I therefor feel terrible whenever I get the details a little bit wrong. It's much more interesting when it happened much later and I can therefore... embellish the stories with out being a total liar. Also, this is getting long. And I need to write about more important things, like sparkly green check marks.

So vote affirmative, because I'm getting bored.