Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Speech & Debate Crushes - The Fifth Year Letters

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. So does being around someone for 3-4 straight days, including early mornings and late nights, eating meals with them, and being high strung on emotions because you haven't gotten enough sleep in two weeks.

Tournaments are one of the best ways to get to know someone. You see everyone at their best and worst, and also see everyone in their suits which increases attraction by at least 60%*. It's no wonder why so many find themselves with tournament crushes. Hormones run high, tournament nerves run even higher than usual. If you find yourself looking after a suit-clad cutie, I have a few A+, very subtle crush tips**.

*According to no scientific study ever.
**As an older and wiser homeschooler I cannot legally recommend having a crush because of the Law of Homeschooling. Go find some edgier homeschooler to give you dating advice.

1. Postings Stalking


After eluding the stampede of teenagers who haven't gotten enough slept, stalking postings is the first step in proper tournament crushing. This step is vital to many other parts of getting to know your crush. Having conversations at tournaments hinges on knowing what events the other person is competing in and when they're competing in them.

2. Item Placement


When coming into the student area in the morning, hang around until your crush has placed his or her debate box/brief case/stringed instrument at a table. Casually stroll over (being careful not to attract extra attention to yourself by tripping over chairs/debate boxes/juniors) to that table and set your belongings down.

3. Casual Conversing



Before just straight up talking to your crush, you must first find a group conversation in which he/she is participating in. Enter the conversation if AND ONLY IF a good friend of the same gender is in the conversation. Otherwise your crush will totally know you're stalking him/her. This is totally foolproof. Totally. 100%. Recommended times: during/just before meals, while waiting on judges outside of your round. Which reminds me...

4. Hallway Lurking


This is where stalking postings comes in handy. Find out where your crush is competing, and see if another friend is competing in the same area (statistically speaking, this is very likely). Go to watch your friends speech but oops the friend isn't here/already went. When your crush shows up, start a conversation by asking what event they're in this hallway for (even though you already know because postings). If it is for a prepared speech, ask about the topic/piece. This leads to the crown jewel of tournament crushing/flirting.

5. Round Watching


As your crush is standing up to go into the competition room, ask if you can watch. There's a high chance the response will be yes. Watch the speech. Afterwards, compliment the speech, mentioning specific things you liked about it. Ask if he/she wants to watch your speech later.


While there are many other aspects of tournament flirting (such as adjusting his tie or brushing off her blazer, which is on a whole other level), these five are the basic foundation. Going into this tournament, I hope you have fun getting to know suit-clad cuties other CHSADKs.

Vote affirmative, and remember: speech and debate isn't just about trophies; it's about the community, friendships, and future marriages. 

4 comments:

  1. *haven't (near the start)

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  2. OMG I RELATE TO THIS ON SO MANY LEVELS. except for #3 (because i have good friends who are guys in the convo)this is so true. And yes people, stoa can cause marriages to occur.

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  3. this explains so much about homeschool tournaments xD

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  4. So THAT'S why everyone thinks I'm always flirting... :)

    ReplyDelete

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