Novices

Not quite as adorable as the juniors, but still pretty cute, the twelve year old newbies arenjustbas great as the juniors. And I don't ever have to rank them fifth and below, and that's always a plus.

Ah, novices. So young and ignorant to our strange debater ways. They are only just learning the four legs of the cow (or chair, if you're boring like that). They repeat the components of four point refutation like their lives depend on it. They look on in terror as an advanced student explains counter plans. They try to flow speeches word for word. They get candy for reading evidence (seriously? Why don't I get candy?). They debate about super heroes and cats vs dogs.

Meanwhile, we boring advanceds are researching the resolution six months in advance. We recite our 1ACs in our sleep - literally.  We've already eaten most of the elephant.

But we were novices before started finishing our evidence ring assignments within the first five minutes. We, too, argued about Barbies and J.I. Joe. We cried at our first week of ering. (Well, that may just be me.) We MPXed Disney Princesses to nuclear war. We ran topicality in the 1NR. (Again, that may just be me. Also, never run topicality in the 1NR.) But by the end of the year, we knew (at least sort of) what the stock issues were for (#tipthecow). We learned how to flow kind of legibly and chances are, we won some rounds. Maybe we didn't break. Maybe we didn't win the whole tournament or get thirty speaker points. But we lived. We learned some lessons, both about debate and about life. We made friends.

From the day we arrive at the tournament, and blinking step into the round. There's more to argue than can ever be run, more rounds than can ever be won. There's far too much to take in yet, more postings than can ever be seen. But the bags rolling far, through the first tournament, keep going on, to the end of the week. IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIFEEEEEEEE, AND IT MOVES US AAAAAALLLLL-

Wait, that's the Lion King.

Vote affirmative, cause they just can't wait to be advanced. Or something.

Juniors

I'm not talking about the year before being a senior in highschool or college or whatever. I am, of course. talking about those really cute kids who are too young to compete in speech and debate, but have older siblings who are winning tournaments and want in on the trophy action. They are 100% cuter than us varsity kids and have a much greater ability to scream at high pitches (don't ask me how I know that. My ears are still hurting).

This past week I got to teach at our club's Junior Speech camp. (I was, of course, the best instructor.) (Okay not really. It depends on which kids you ask.) We played Sharks and Minnows, Elf-Giant-Man (think rock-paper-scissors), Attack the Instructor (actually the game was called Fruit Basket Turnovers. But an instructor was attacked.), and more. I taught cute little kids how to time speeches. I gave cute little kids pizza. I heard cute little kids scream far too loud (and let me tell you, those children are far less cute when they shout at pitches that should only be heard by dogs). I told cute little kids the story of the Stinky Cheese Man. You get the I idea- I was with cute little kids all day.

Okay, confession time: there were some ten and eleven year olds that were almost or as tall as me. Not gonna lie, I thought I would be with people I would feel tall around. I was mistaken. I did get to stand in the back row of the group picture. I don't get to do that very often. Most times I'm directly behind the people on their knees. Thanks, juniors, for being slightly shorter than me.

One of the reasons I love juniors is because I used to be one. That, of course, is a whole other story. If you stalk the archives you can find that story, told in like, four different posts. Judging them is both really fun and really hard. I know from very personal experience the way 5th and Belows on a ballot feel when you're nine. But teaching them is the best. You should try it some time.

Vote affirmative. Otherwise, you'll probably break the nine-year-olds' hearts. And mine.

You Know You're A Christian Homeschooled Speech and Debate Kid When... 2

(So it's been over a month since I posted anything. Let's just say I was on summer break, okay? And that just means that I haven't been feeling particularly creative. So now I'm just posting sequels, because who doesn't love a good sequel. Like HTTYD2. Best. Sequel. Ever. Anyway, this is a direct rip off of Blimeycow's You might be a homeschooler if. So I guess I'm double un-creative.)

You know you're a CHSADK when your speech and debate Pinterest board has more pins than your dress board.

You know you're a CHSADK when you freak out when you finally meet your alumni hero.

You know you're a CHSADK when your vacation is decided by NITOC's location.

You know you're a CHSADK when you get upset when you realize you won't be giving your speeches from this/last year again.

You know you're a CHSADK when you get excited about buying new flowpads and pens before speech and debate camp.

You know you're a CHSADK when you start planning speeches for next year before this year is over.

You know you're a CHSADK when talking to walls is perfectly normal behavior.

You know you're a CHSADK when you have no social life during the summer because there are no club meetings or tournaments.

You know you're a CHSADK when you spend far too much time stalking Facebook for NITOC photos while wishing you were there.

You know you're a CHSADK when the act of throwing away your flowing pens from the past year is a mournful occasion.

You know you're a CHSADK when you get weird stares from the people in Starbucks because you're in full tournament attire.

You know you're a CHSADK when you get confused when people clap more than once for one person.

You know you're a CHSADK when others get on to you for parli knocking outside of tournaments. 

You know you're a CHSADK when you have tournament nightmares in the middle of the summer.

You know you're a CHSADK when you feel bad for not asking if everyone is ready before your piano recital (or whatever activity you do outside of debate.)

You know you're a CHSADK when you gasp in shock when people tell you they have a life outside debate.

You know you're a CHSADK when no one in your youth group understands your obscure debate references.

You know you're a CHSADK when you understand these jokes.

You know you're a CHSADK when your favorite webcomic consists of stick figures and speech and debate themed parodies of popular songs.

You know you're a CHSADK when Blimey Cow nails every aspect of your life.

You know you're a CHSADK when you inform your friends that the Debate Dungeon is very real.

You know you're a CHSADK when the vast majority of your blog posts are centered around how great speech and debate it.

You know you're a CHSADK when you dread the summer because there's no speech and debate.

You know you're a CHSADK when you spend way too much time reading SCHSADKL when you should be writing briefs.

You know you're a CHSADK when watching speeches on Youtube is research for your persuasive.

You know you're a CHSADK when it's hard to recognize your friends when they're not wearing suits. 

You know you're a CHSADK when you say NCFCA so fast that people think you're saying enceeifceea.

You know you're a CHSADK when you laugh at the 'that's debatable' joke no matter how old it gets.

You know you're a CHSADK when you have to take out the debater-ese out of your speech for fear of confusing community judges.

You know you're a CHSADK when you spend free time reading and reorganizing old ballots.

You know you're a CHSADK when you freak out because the timer (like a kid, not a time piece) just started counting down the last ten seconds and you didn't even see the other hand signals.

You know you're a CHSADK when you take a break from blog post writing because you haven't done any speech and debate related activities.

Vote affirmative. Maybe I'll try harder to find things to blog about.