The Should-be Goal of Speech and Debate

At the first club meeting of the year, our platform coach asked for us to write down two goals for the competition. It would've been so easy to write down, 'get first place on a ballot,' or 'qualify for nationals.' It's easy for those things to be our goals. It's easy to go to a tournament wanting nothing more than to win. And sometimes we do. People win. And it's amazing to watch my friends win.

Last year, when I wrote down goals before tournaments, I had a lot of '9:00 minutes on persuasive,' or 'three cross-x questions in TP.' I never wrote down as one of my goals 'win!' But for at least half of those tournaments, that was my real goal. Not entirely. I did want to persuade people in persuasive, and have a three minute impromptu, but I also wanted to win. I felt like I deserved to win.

C.S. Lewis said that humility isn't thinking less of yourself; it's thinking of yourself less. When I didn't do well (to say the least) at NITOC, I started thinking that I wasn't good enough. I didn't think that I deserved to be at NITOC, I didn't think that I deserved to be doing speech and debate at all. I thought I wasn't good enough. That night, looking at my ballots, I couldn't think clearly. I knew, I really knew, that ballots aren't a definition of who I am, or how good I am. But I couldn't believe it as I saw fifth and below after fifth and below. I was focused on myself. Not on the people in my rooms who got 1sts, not on the people who didn't qualify for nationals.

When I wrote my speech, I knew who it was for. It wasn't for me. It was for the people watching my rounds. The judges, the timer, the audience. The people whose preparedness I questioned before I began every speech. But it's easy to forget the reason we do speech and debate, or easy to forget what should be the reason we do speech and debate: to bring glory to God. I never want to forget the time people have said that my speech inspired them. I never want to forget why that speech inspired them: because God was with me. Because the only way I was ever able to write a speech was with God's help.

My goal for this year is to remember why I do speech and debate, why I go into rounds with my heart in my stomach so I can give a speech to a bunch of strangers who are literally casting judgement on me. I want to learn to communicate with intelligence. I want to be able to think critically. I want to inspire people and encourage them. And I want to make people laugh at my duo. But most of all, I want to remember that there are other people involved. I want to remember that the judge who ranked me fifth and below did that for a reason. I want to remember that the person who won first place worked hard to get there. I want my focus to be on other people. It won't be easy, and it won't be a one time thing. But it'll be worth it.

But besides remembering, I want to ask you, judge, to vote affirmative. Not because I deserve it, but because there is no one going neg against me. And what's the point of voting for someone who doesn't exist?