There's Something I Need to Tell You

Once upon a time, I was a junior. I did a junior speech for two tournaments. Then I gave up because I lost. Four years after I gave up, I un-gave up. Because un-giving up is actually a thing. And after I un-gave up I wrote a speech. And I found evidence. And I went to a tournament. This is a story about my first speech and debate tournament.

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I printed off the negative briefs. I finished writing my speech five days before the tournament started. I sort of practiced my speech like once. I was ready for the first tournament I would ever really compete at. Sort of. But the tournament would arrive in spite of my preparedness (or lack there of). And arrive it did.

I put on my (sister's) suit and my brand new heels. I submitted my script and rolled my (sister's) debate box into the student gathering room and realized I was in the wrong place and had to walk where everyone else was. Then I remember that I was on the welcome committee and had to like, open doors or something. But no one came through my door. But finally, the first round was about to begin. I was about to become a real live, actual debater.I ducked between the multitude of well dressed teenagers to see who I would be going against. And there it was.

Rambo/Rambo AFF vs. Gerdt/Jones NEG

That hypothetical situation my debate coach always talked about was unfolding before my very eyes. My partner and me, two novices, versus two super duper advanced debaters. I was pretty much dead before I walked into the room. But I got my giant neg binder out from my (sister's) debate box and plopped it on the table. And I debated. And I lost. But I didn't pass out or throw-up, so according to Mrs. Harding, it was a success. So I shook off Rambo/Rambo and went off to wait for my first ever speech round.

Remember to take off your slippers. Remember to take off your slippers. I told myself. Please help me remember to take off my slippers. I asked God. And please don't let me go against my friend who has the exact same topic as me. I pleaded as I walked towards postings. And (of course) I was going against my friend who had the exact same persuasive topic as me. I bit my lip and walked to my room, constantly repeating the room number to myself. And I sat outside persuasive for awhile. Then I watched a couple duos because I was pretty far down on the list. Then I was late because I was watching duos. Then I remembered to take off my slippers and put on my heels. I got into my room and, saying a quick prayer in my head, I told the judges who I was. And I began speaking.

Introduction? Check. First point? Check. Everything was going fine. I moved into my second point. Half-way through my second point I realized something was wrong. I was giving my genius debate analogy a point too soon. I was in my third point. Did I skip my second point? I froze. For a good twenty seconds I just stared at the wall. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do????? I finally decided that it'd be best if I just kept talking and give my second point third. My judges were very merciful to my extended pause. To say the least. And everything was okay. The end.

I have something to tell all you speech and debaters. First years and sixth years, extempers and interpers, TPers and LDers and Parliers. You. Will. Mess. Up. Sorry to pop your bubble. Actually, I'm not. Better to pop it now, before the first tournament does it. Yes, you're going to mess up. Don't think you won't just because you've been doing this for the past four years. Your expos boards will fall apart the day before the tournament. Your mind will go blank the moment you pick up your impromptu prompt. You will forget to put your heels back on before you go into your persuasive round. Your duo partner will be late to your round. You will forget to print out briefs until it's 11:00PM the night before the tournament. You (or your TP partner) will forget to register for a tournament. You will hit Rambo/Rambo, even though you are a novice and don't deserve such punishment. You will be late for extemp prep. You will get pink eye the day before the tournament (well, maybe not that. But it's possible. Trust me). You will clap after the wrong speech in a debate round.

But you know what you won't do? Die. Not because of any of those thing. You might get pink eye, you might even throw up. But you will not die. The only possible reason you could die from any of the above things happening is if you stop breathing. You will not get sucked into the time vortex because you forgot to change your shoes. You will not get thrown into the debate dungeon you forgot to print off briefs. So BREATHE. In. Out. In and out.

It's going to be okay. Those things don't define you. Not your skills as a speech and debater, and not you as a person. So keep calm... and vote affirmative.