First off, let me explain what MPACT is. MPACT (Making People Aware of Christ's Truth) is where a bunch of different youth groups from around Texas go to some town in Texas. There are 250-300 kids every year. We go around doing different service projects like painting houses, doing yard work, etc. etc. It's usually very hot. I mean, it is Texas. So it's very hot. But we do it to Make People Aware of Christ's Truth, not so we can relax in the air conditioned gyms. Which reminds me. We sleep on gym floors. If you're smart, you bring an air mattress. So. Back to my story.
Ever since NITOC, I've had a bit of a sore throat. It wasn't really worth mentioning, so I didn't. I didn't tell anyone. Not my mother, not my youth leaders. Anyways, we left on Saturday at around 2:00 to go to Florence, which has population of 1,136. That is 1/200 of the size of my town. Anyways, the drive up there was fun. The youth leader asked us some fun questions and we answered. Somehow the question: 'what is the most awkward position you've been in?' came up. I told this REALLY awkward, embarrassing story about me and LB. You'll remember him from my last post. We got to the really small town and arrived at the really small middle school. Nothing that big happened.
Next day. I get up. I slept horribly because, as I mentioned before, I was sleeping on an air mattress on a gym floor. And there were these emergency lights that wouldn't go off. And the air conditioner screamed bloody murder every single time it came on. When I wake up that morning, my throat hurts like insanity and I have a headache and I'm exhausted. So pretty much I feel like crap.WAIT. I take that non-homeschool appropriate word back. I pretty much feel like crud. That's better. Anyways, I feel awful. Me and my group goes to this really, really, really, really small little country church that is filled with old people with country accents. It was cool. Would've been better if I had felt better.
After we got back to the tiny school for lunch, I felt even worse. My youth leader found out and I had to stay from going to see my worksite with my group. Instead I kind of laid down on my air mattress in the gym and didn't really sleep, and then I took a shower. After that, I felt well enough to go to dinner with my work team. After I got back, I had to stay back from that night's worship and message. That was really depressing, especially with the possibility of my getting sent home early.
I ended up staying at someone's actual house that night so I had a better chance of getting better. I did sleep really well, but I still had a high fever that morning. We called my mother and decided that I had to go home.
You have no idea how upset I was. I trudged to the gym and tearfully started packing my bags. I thought about how I was missing out on getting paint in my hair, getting to know my work team members, getting to worship with all those other kids, getting sunburned, crying as I have a 'come to Jesus' moment, all those things that I experienced last year that I'd miss out on this year because I'm getting sent home five weeks early, having barely done anything worthwhile at all. Sarah, my youth leader, came into the gym to see how I was doing. Upon seeing my tears, she inquired as to why I was shedding them. "I have to go home." I barely managed to say. She hugged me and asked if I wanted her to stay. I told her she could go. A little later, my sister came and wished me farewell, and then I said goodbye to my brother and my other youth leader. After they all left I started reading the book I brought as I waited 2+ hours for my mom to get there. It was possibly the loneliest two hours of my life.
I couldn't understand how on earth anything good could come out of me leaving. In my head I knew that everything would be okay, but my heart just wasn't getting the memo. What could possibly be better than MPACT? I didn't get it. I asked God to show me why this happened. My tears dried as I focused on my book, but when my mother got there, they returned.
We didn't talk a lot on the way home. I didn't feel like it. We stopped at Braums and I ate chilli and ice-cream. The drive home wasn't that long, and when I got back home, I got on 'my' laptop and watched Monk while writing my book.
I'm still not sure why this happened. Being home wasn't entirely depressing, I guess, but maybe I would've rather been at MPACT. Maybe one day I will figure out why. But for now I have to trust that God's plan is better than mine. Everything I expected MPACT to be turned out waaay different than I thought it would. I never planned on getting sick, I never planned on going home almost a week early. But I have to trust that God's plan is better than mine, even when it seems like leaving MPACT is so terrible. Trust is hard, especially when you can't see what you're trusting.
Like that. I can't see the whole stair case, but I'm still walking down it. How? I don't know, it's an analogy. Analogies don't make sense. Especially in debate. Speaking of debate....
Next day. I get up. I slept horribly because, as I mentioned before, I was sleeping on an air mattress on a gym floor. And there were these emergency lights that wouldn't go off. And the air conditioner screamed bloody murder every single time it came on. When I wake up that morning, my throat hurts like insanity and I have a headache and I'm exhausted. So pretty much I feel like crap.WAIT. I take that non-homeschool appropriate word back. I pretty much feel like crud. That's better. Anyways, I feel awful. Me and my group goes to this really, really, really, really small little country church that is filled with old people with country accents. It was cool. Would've been better if I had felt better.
After we got back to the tiny school for lunch, I felt even worse. My youth leader found out and I had to stay from going to see my worksite with my group. Instead I kind of laid down on my air mattress in the gym and didn't really sleep, and then I took a shower. After that, I felt well enough to go to dinner with my work team. After I got back, I had to stay back from that night's worship and message. That was really depressing, especially with the possibility of my getting sent home early.
I ended up staying at someone's actual house that night so I had a better chance of getting better. I did sleep really well, but I still had a high fever that morning. We called my mother and decided that I had to go home.
You have no idea how upset I was. I trudged to the gym and tearfully started packing my bags. I thought about how I was missing out on getting paint in my hair, getting to know my work team members, getting to worship with all those other kids, getting sunburned, crying as I have a 'come to Jesus' moment, all those things that I experienced last year that I'd miss out on this year because I'm getting sent home five weeks early, having barely done anything worthwhile at all. Sarah, my youth leader, came into the gym to see how I was doing. Upon seeing my tears, she inquired as to why I was shedding them. "I have to go home." I barely managed to say. She hugged me and asked if I wanted her to stay. I told her she could go. A little later, my sister came and wished me farewell, and then I said goodbye to my brother and my other youth leader. After they all left I started reading the book I brought as I waited 2+ hours for my mom to get there. It was possibly the loneliest two hours of my life.
I couldn't understand how on earth anything good could come out of me leaving. In my head I knew that everything would be okay, but my heart just wasn't getting the memo. What could possibly be better than MPACT? I didn't get it. I asked God to show me why this happened. My tears dried as I focused on my book, but when my mother got there, they returned.
We didn't talk a lot on the way home. I didn't feel like it. We stopped at Braums and I ate chilli and ice-cream. The drive home wasn't that long, and when I got back home, I got on 'my' laptop and watched Monk while writing my book.
I'm still not sure why this happened. Being home wasn't entirely depressing, I guess, but maybe I would've rather been at MPACT. Maybe one day I will figure out why. But for now I have to trust that God's plan is better than mine. Everything I expected MPACT to be turned out waaay different than I thought it would. I never planned on getting sick, I never planned on going home almost a week early. But I have to trust that God's plan is better than mine, even when it seems like leaving MPACT is so terrible. Trust is hard, especially when you can't see what you're trusting.
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| Vote affirmative. It's for the best. |
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