Ice Breakers - The Third Year Chronicles #5

(My words. Not her's. But she's pretty much the best.)

No, I'm not talking about those big ships that go up to the arctic and literally break ice. I'm talking about the little 'games' we play before the lectures and stuff start. My fabulous debate coach (the one so accurately depicted above) makes all her debaters give everyone else their name and a random fact about themselves. The goal is to get conversations started later after club when we socialize. Like, if someone tells you that the FBI knocked on their front door, later you can ask them why the stock issues they did that.

Whenever Mrs. H announces that we're doing this exercise, I instantly start raking through the last fifteen years of my life for something even remotely interesting to say, and I don't think 'I'm Conner's brother' is gonna cut it. 'I wrote the first draft of a novel this summer by hand,' seems like I'm bragging. 'I have the best debate coach, like, ever (thing Taylor Swift),' also seems like I'm bragging. (Even though both of these things are true.) What can I say that won't make them think I'm bragging?

Eventually, I decided to tell everyone that I have a speech and debate themed blog called Kitkats and Impromptu (then I ended it with a desperate plea for people to read it to boost my self confidence, so if you're reading this (which you are), thank you. Seriously. Thank you.)

I'm a third year. I shouldn't be afraid to stand up and say like, two things, right? I shouldn't get nervous and flushed whenever I think about having to talk to people, right? My stomach shouldn't get filled with butterflies, much less the feeling of humming birds flying about in there. I shouldn't start sweating bullets. I shouldn't panic internally about what I should say. Right?

Right???

Evidently, wrong.

Even as an experienced speaker, I still get nervous and scared before debate rounds, and speech rounds, and even when I get up just to say my name and a random fact. I wring my hands and pace outside rounds to hide my shaking. I fan myself with my trembling hands to keep from turning the color of a ripe tomato. Even in normal, everyday conversations, I fear that a misstep in my words will cause everyone to think that I'm an idiot. I fear that no one will hear what I have to say - or worse, that they won't care.

So yes, I've been doing speech and debate for two years. I've given countless speeches in front of countless people. I've read ballots that make my spirits soar and ones that crush my soul. I have a lot of friends (I'm not bragging. I just have a lot of friends). I have conversations with people. And I still get nervous.

But it's not about being nervous or being completely calm. It's about taking those nerves and pushing them aside. It's taking that fear and saying, 'Jesus has overcome the world and He will help me overcome you.' It's speaking through the shaking and through the crying and through the fear. Maybe I won't give the speech that wins NITOC this round. Maybe I'll bumble through a piece of evidence because I haven't read it before. Maybe I'll give a speech that moves judges to tears. Maybe I'll go down the flow in a way the judge will comprehend completely. But if I let fear stop me from doing something I love, none of these things will happen. I'll never qualify for NITOC. I'll never make friends. I'll never inspire judges.

I don't know how many years you've competed in speech and debate. I don't know what league you compete in. I don't know if you've ever competed at all. But there is something I want you to know: I'm a third year debater, and I'm still afraid of public speaking. I still get nervous. I often times fear what others think of me. But...

I still speak. I still write. I still make friends.

Vote affirmative, and don't let fear stop you.

(This post is part of a series called The Third Year Chronicles. Click here for TTYC #4.)